Lucy Webster wrote an article called “Nine things you should never say to a wheelchair user“. Today I am adding a question that I believe should be added to her suggestions.
“So what happened to you?” or “Why are you in a wheelchair?”
I don’t have enough fingers and toes put together to count the number of times people have randomly asked me this question or variations thereof over the past twenty years. Today, like every time it’s happened before, it irked me in my core.
So to finally address my frustration with this hideous and inappropriate blunder, I want to explain my thoughts about it by starting with a clear cut answer: “NO!” “It’s not okay to ask!”
I am not my wheelchair.
First of all, I am not my wheelchair, just a regular person like anyone else, going about my daily business. See me, not my wheelchair. Talk to me like you would to any other person you meet for the first time because I promise I am no different. My wheelchair is simply a means for me to get from A to B.
I am not my disability.
I have a disability, I am not my disability. It doesn’t define me and as a person I am about much, much more. I am interested in so many things and there is so much that I do, that I would love to talk about. So when someone approaches me with a personal, medical question it seems like they are not really interested in me but rather my gory details.
It’s my story to tell – if and when I choose to.
I have a story much like everyone else.